Messy Morph
by Wordgawk
Summary: Trouble hops into Dante's lap. He'll need a solution of the non-lethal kind to solve this strange case.
1. Surprise

**Author's note: I gotta say, random connections are always fabulous when I let the mind wander. ^_^ Story takes place post-DMC4.**

* * *

Messy Morph

A loud pounding on the front doors sat Dante from the leather couch he lounged on. The noise resumed its rhythmic insistence and he knew it was a customer and not a psycho demon. Demons never knocked.

"Lady, can you get that?" he called out to the woman who was stooped at the open mini fridge and was technically in less of a position to answer than the door than he. He didn't see the appeal of its drinks to her; nearly the whole inside was stocked with something boozy and she wasn't the rowdiest drinker.

Lady shook her raven head and stood. "You're so lazy."

"I'm saving my strength." Dante yawned for the hell of it.

She sighed and closed the fridge door with her foot. As she crossed the room, she took out a pistol from her holster. Dante was about to tell her the person outside was indeed a person, but he then closed his mouth. Lady wouldn't listen, anyway.

Lady eased opened the door and a sniffling brunette awaited on the doorstep. She held a small handbag against her chest. When she saw Lady, she looked a little surprised. "D-Dante? Is Dante here?" she asked in a small voice.

"Hey Dante, it's a date of yours." Lady spoke over her shoulder at him as she replaced her handgun.

"I-I'm not." The guest stood taller. She squeezed her bag tighter but suddenly released her tight grip and patted it.

Raising a curious eyebrow, Lady held the door open. "Do come in, then."

The frazzled girl entered hesitantly and glanced around. As soon as she saw Dante, she rushed over. She came so fast, for a moment Dante thought she was going to jump on top of him. Not that he'd mind, he thought upon quick inspection. She was a stellar babe, with a ponytail and nice rack, and who looked awfully like Nero's girl-

"Kyrie?" Dante then recognized her, matching his foggy memory to the face. He hadn't seen her lately. Whoops, the kid Nero was going to maul him for thinking of his girlfriend as such.

Kyrie nodded, tears glittering in her eyes. "I'm glad you're here. I need your help."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Dante swung his feet down and sat up like a proper gentleman, even scooting over to give her room to join him. He informed Lady who Kyrie was since they hadn't met each other until today. Dante turned back to Kyrie. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nero. He's in trouble. I didn't know who else to go to." Kyrie fiddled with the handle of her purse as she lowered herself.

A hell dimension or taken prisoner by some kinky mistress of pain; Dante already unwound his tape roll of mental imagination. "What happened to him?"

She looked down. "He's not himself."

"Relationship issues?" Honestly, Dante wasn't in the mood to play matchmaker.

Kyrie sniffled again. She unzipped her bag and reached inside, presumably for a tissue. What appeared was far from a tissue. A blue frog poked its head out. A horizontal red stripe stretched around its belly. Its eyes, ocular and sky blue were darting around in a panic. As soon as the frog caught sight of Dante, it began thrashing in the handbag.

"Uh, amphibians aren't really my forte," Dante slowly confessed as Kyrie cooed to the spasmodic pet.

Kyrie lifted the frog from the confines of her bag. When she did this, the creature calmed considerably. "N-Nero." Her lips trembled.

Dante's mouth fell open. This slippery thing was Nero? Only one way to find out. "Kid, how're you doin'?" he goaded.

The frog shook a floppy arm at him, protesting, it seemed. Dante then saw the small arm was a maroon color and it glowed blue, right down to its clawed hand. "Fantastic! Like peaches 'n cream. What do you think?" its chirpy voice responded hotly.

"It's him! It's really him! Hey, Lady, take a look at Kyrie's new pet!" Dante hooted.

Frog Nero rebelled. "I'm not a frog!"

Lady walked over and bent low, exposing her plunging neckline. "Aw, such a cutie."

Nero made a squawking noise at seeing Lady and turned his head away. A purplish hue spread on his face. Kyrie, casting her gaze on Lady, saw what Nero was getting excited over and she looked smitten.

Dante patted Nero on top of the head, knowing the gesture would annoy him immensely. "Yes, a cute froggy."

"Seriously, I'm not! I feel the same. I just look like one!" Nero objected and swatted Dante's hand off with his tiny pad of a hand. "It's a curse. It's a hex! Get me outta here!" He hopped madly on his hind legs in Kyrie's hands. The fretful woman coaxed him once more.

"So how did you end up like this?" Dante was genuinely trying his hardest not to laugh. If roles were reversed, he'd be raising hell himself.

"A job. Tracking some slithery demon. I got it cornered but it hit me with something vile. A gunky fluid I don't want to pinpoint its exact origins." For the first time, Dante heard a frog sigh and hang its head. "Man, I hope this state isn't permanent."

From atop the steps at the back of the office, the busty blonde Trish sauntered down, each wooden step creaking. "Oh, Dante, you're out of soap in the bathroom up there- hmm, what's happening?" She neared them. She spotted Nero and exclaimed, "A frog! Wow, how adorable. The Underworld never had such cute ones." She glibly reached out and tickled Nero's belly without even asking permission.

A round of laughter sounded but was cut short when Nero keeled over. Kyrie began to fan his prostrate form.

Confused at the staring faces, Trish shrugged. "What? Was it something I said?"


	2. Reading

**Author's note: Turning Nero into a frog has brought out my Dante quirkiness. **

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Chapter 2

"This sucks!" Nero expelled angrily when he tried to shut a book but the cover was too heavy for him to turn. Kyrie, in the spirit of making him feel better, slammed the cover for him. Everyone was flipping through Dante's meager collection of demon encyclopedias to find any relevant information to Nero's condition. There were magazines too, Dante proudly admit to locating. Those were rare!

Aside from the observable increased agitation in frog form, there wasn't any new information about Nero's transformation. The odd couple took up residence on the reliable loveseat while the others were scattered around Dante's office, taking turns to fetch information from nearby shelves.

"Cool your jets or you'll pass out again." Dante peered over the cover of a heavy tome which secretly housed a girly magazine. The size was perfect and completely hidden from outside viewers. Nobody suspected a thing.

Ok, it was a lingerie catalog, but who was he to be prudish about where he saw scantily clad lovelies from when it was all free? He'd start research once he finished the articles. He hadn't finished ogling through the book's entirety yet. Now if only he could find a woman willing enough to wear a couple of these beauties for him.

"Yes, Nero, I want you to get better." On the table she was at sat a bowl of cherries. Kyrie plucked a cherry and held it out. "These are good."

Nero accepted the spherical fruit and stared at it dubiously. He eventually gave in and took a bite. From her seat on Dante's desk, Trish saw this and smiled. The pit rolled around in Nero's mouth briefly before he spit it out. Trish raised her vision to Kyrie and her mouth widened further.

If frog Nero had any brows, he'd lift one, but instead his neck arched up to see why Trish was so amused with Kyrie. The girl watched him with her lips pressed together, as if fighting off a smirk of her own. "What is it?" he asked her.

Kyrie shook her head from side to side, refusing to answer.

"C'mon, you can tell me." Nero hopped slightly in place, though he really didn't mean to.

The growing beam Kyrie was trying to conceal wavered. She mouth lifted a curve and again, she fought valiantly against it.

"She's not talking," Nero muttered, mostly to himself. He croaked louder to Dante, "Hey, man, something's wrong with Kyrie. She can't speak."

"It's nothing like that," Kyrie interjected then, causing Nero to face her. When he stared into her eyes, Kyrie broke out in a full grin. "I-I'm sorry!"

"Wha-?" Nero didn't understand what was going on.

Dante chuckled when he got it. Oh, she was an interesting woman. He shut his book and put it down. "She's a girl."

"Why, yes, I believe you're right," Nero responded in a faux shocked voice as though Dante had made a breaking discovery akin to mining gold amongst a pile of dung.

"You like how he is?" Dante directed lightly at Kyrie. She nodded imperceptibly.

As Nero cranked out possibilities of what next to ask her so he'd figure out what made her act so funny, Kyrie burst out to Nero, "You're just... so cute! You're so small."

"And that's not an insult to your manhood, by the way," Dante added, unable to keep the laughter out of his tone.

"Shut up, you piece of _ribbit_-"

Nero shook his head. His mouth was malfunctioning. He stared at Dante and attempted to insult him again. "You _ribbit-"_

Across Dante's desk, Lady glanced up from a sheaf of papers in sudden intrigue at Nero's plight. "What's the matter?"

"Insults aren't working," Trish informed the researcher animatedly, like a play-by-play. "Nero wants to say something but can't. It's a mystery. What could he want to say? Hmm..."

Anger jittered Nero. "What the hell? Why is it so hard to say _ribbit_ off, Dante-"

Dante guffawed. "Are you swearing at me?"

Nero's round amphibious face fell in disappointed shock. "I can't insult you? Oh, _ribbit, ribrib, RIBBIT!" _Nero paused, then yanked the cursing gas starter once more. "Riiiib! ...r_ibbit?_ Oh, geez."

"Now that is a deterrent for young 'uns to keep from bad-mouthing." The barrels of amusement for Dante didn't cease to empty tonight.

"Moron." At least Nero could keep other insults, despite not using the choice words he truly wanted. "I hate this!" Nero then cried out, looking ready to break down and weep. "Stupid Bael. This is all his fault. If he wasn't a frog, I wouldn't be like this!"

The big, squishy frog on ice, Dante remembered fondly. He had his slice of a fight with what was probably one of Bael's brothers. Or offspring. Whatever. In any case, it sure had lovely assistants in the form of gossamer girls, Dante couldn't condemn. "Didn't you like those girls?"

Kyrie seemed surprised, then a mite concerned. "Girls? Which girls?" Her tone immediately bordered on suspicion.

"They weren't real girls. They were illusions. Kinda. Nothing happened," Nero pledged a little too desperately. His expression didn't have the wide range of his normal human visage so he couldn't seem convincing enough in a desperate situation.

"If those specters were illusions, then they're very plump ones. I thought I saw bounce myself." Dante was biting back an explosive chortle at his machinations.

...which prompted the anticipated reaction of panic from Nero. "What?? N-no!" His fast froggy head alternated its horrified stare from Kyrie and Dante, all the while blushing more purple with each passing second. "He's lying. They weren't plump. Their chests. I mean, the girls."

Kyrie peered through narrowed lids at her sputtering frogfriend.

Oh yes, Nero's persuasion was wholly convincing. Not that Dante didn't mind digging him out of a potential jealousy mess, but he liked his entertainment and poured his ignitable gas can of teases into the conversation. "Yeah, the girls were disgusting," he explained to Kyrie with a straight face. "I mean, they were naked. We didn't want to see anything that vulgar."

If Nero's face wasn't violet yet, he was a dark shade of plum now. His wide round eyes glared at Dante who couldn't help looking innocent while Nero was appearing totally the opposite. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Dante purposely leaned towards Lady who was skimming through a mind-bogglingly thick hardcover. "So, find anything useful yet?"

"Dante!" Nero growled at being blatantly ignored, impressing him once again. A talking frog, and a real one at that, not a lame puppet like on TV. He'd never been wowed with the lip-synching on puppets.

Lady shook her head at his question. She glanced in Nero's direction. A surreptitious snort escaped her in reaction to, most likely, what a darn cutie pie that kid Nero had become.

He was irresistible to women and yet he was throwing things around like that wasn't the best news ever. What was so horrendous about that? Dante wondered. "C'mon, babe, there's gotta be something you missed." Dante extricated himself from his cozy throne and slid next to her. He retrieved his discarded book for good measure.

Flipping a page and gaze fixed on text, Lady replied smoothly, "Maybe you could find something if you stopped reading that magazine you're not hiding in there."

"What? No." Dante denied with the finesse of a caught liar. He peered in fascination at the woman's pages while he deftly sat on the book to ensure his secret stayed concealed.

"Ah, so no, you are hiding one." Lady looked satisfied with her assessment.

Dante frowned. Her brain teasers were twisting his logical train of thought into a misshapen pretzel. "Talk English, Lady."

Unfazed, Lady snapped shut her book, kicking up small motes of dust in Dante's face. He coughed at how cruel she acted towards him. Answer one door and this is the treatment he endured? Please.

"There's _nada_ in here. C'mon, I need a new resource." Wily, Lady moved her free hand directly in front of Dante's lap. Appearing as if she were about to grab his crotch, his brain instantly shuffled his feet the hell away from the desk edge. Moves put on him by women were fine; the killer Lady putting moves on him was totally unthinkable. In his haste, Dante forgot to grab his book which left Lady prime choice to steal it.

"Uh, you really don't-"

"My, _my_. How educational this resource is!" Lady declared with mock keenness. She deliberately thumbed through the magazine which was still housed within the authentically educational volume. Dante's secret was still his. Sort of.

Dante moved slyly to his comrade and lifted fingers to pluck the pretty book from her grasp. He wanted to finish his version of an educating read. "It's an oldie. Been in the family for as long as I can recall."

"Is that so? Well, then I must share the lost knowledge with a fellow friend." Lady pointedly turned her back to Dante, blocking his outstretched arm. She strode to where Kyrie and Nero were surrounded by stacks of literature and papers.

"Oh, I doubt he'll be ready to read that-" Dante began, but cut off when he saw Lady hefting the book not up to Nero's curious eyes, but Kyrie's, who raised her head from her conversation with him when she heard Lady come over.

To himself, Dante murmured, "Ooh, is she ready to see that?"

"What is that? Can it help Nero?" Kyrie questioned with unsullied innocence Dante honestly admitted he didn't want to tarnish. Lady was going to lay waste on that precious purity!

"Possibly, depending on what you mean by 'help'." Lady smiled sweetly and showed Kyrie her offering. The outer cover of the demon anthology faced Nero, intentionally shielding the inner contents from him.

Dante almost yelled at Kyrie to get back because the she-devil was upon her!


	3. Girls

**Author's notes: The DMC agency does not always consist of Dante. Bring on the ladies!  
**

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Chapter 3

Too late, the thick pages were staring up at Kyrie's face. A creeping blush made its way to her cheeks as Lady pointed at spots and whispered in her ear.

Nero, mopey and too wrapped up in the changes to his mortal body, hadn't been paying attention to Dante and Lady's prior argument. He, like Dante --albeit less informed-- got the one-sided reception from Kyrie.

"Uh huh. Really? I see." Kyrie understood Lady's private talk.

The women chattered on for a moment longer in code speak before Nero finally asked them what they were so enraptured by.

Kyrie's face shone with a pretty pink Dante could tell Nero thought looked flat out cute.

She cleared her throat. "Demonology. Profiles. There are different species. Some are very unique."

Lady jabbed her index finger at a corner. "Very sexy. You gotta go for that one."

"No way! This part seems wrinkly. There's hardly anything." Kyrie's protest took on some bite. She indicated a different spot on the page. "I prefer this one."

"Mmm, that's a nice one, too."

"What?" Nero asked in anticipation, like a child left out of the gossip circle. Or more appropriately, a man in women's territory.

"Sexy demons," the girls answered together. Lady chuckled at keeping their secret and Kyrie pressed her lips together to not tell Nero. Lady pointed at another area in the book and Kyrie seemed happier.

The vivacious swing of Trish's curvy hips circled around them as she carefully handed them each a fresh and new --relatively speaking-- piece of literature like a maid would with a goblet. "Here's a new set of text that could use checking and- hey, is that the new issue?"

"Did page eight wow you?" Lady asked Trish from across Kyrie's side. "The full page special? Simply gorgeous."

"I did not, in fact. Kyrie, can you be a dear and turn to it?"

Trish was pulled in too as she stopped to stare over Kyrie's shoulder.

It was Dante's turn to clear his throat. Loudly. "Girls? Research?"

"Yes." Kyrie closed the book in relief and almost shoved it back to Lady. The singer's blush lessened. That is, until amphibious Nero began prodding at what she saw and this led to a miniature argument: Kyrie was loafing around and wasn't she researching? No, she wasn't wasting time, she just...

"This is a drag." As the other two bickered, Trish complained to Dante through a bite of oozing cheese pizza she swiped from the box on his desk.

Dante snagged a stray overcooked pepperoni slice out of the open box and crunched into it. "Aw, too many words and not enough pictures?"

The blonde demoness shot him a zinging glare. "No, it's you."

"Me?"

"Yes, your laziness has ruined my free afternoon. If you didn't flip through those pages like your fingers were made of lead, we'd be on to something by now."

Lady dropped the book into Dante's arms which he was relieved to get back, "Mine too. My plans to meet a client was delayed because you're not working."

"I'm sorry." The deflated apology came not from Dante, but across the room from Kyrie. Everyone turned gazes to her. She slumped slightly in her seat. "I didn't mean to ruin your day."

Frog Nero faced her, peering up from his low vantage point next to her knee. "You didn't do anything."

"I ruined everybody's day, bothering them like this."

"No, I did," Nero replied emphatically. "I did. I got morphed into a frog, I begged you for help, and I'm here, just... eating fruit." His tone grew louder with each statement. Kyrie huffed in surprised when Nero suddenly leaped his hind legs onto her lap. "You've been fantastic!"

Residual dejection appeared on Kyrie's face despite her guy's encouragement.

"I mean it. A-and I'm getting used to being like this. I mean, I can't say _ribbit_. Can I even say _ribbit?_ Ok, some things I can't say, but they're not important. I guess. I, uh..." Nero paused as he racked his brains for the right words.

Nero acted so passionate towards another person that Dante was truly touched. In his stint in Fortuna, all he saw from Nero was rage and all he heard were battle cries.

Kyrie gazed affectionately at him. "You can speak. That's good."

"It's not what I want. I wanna tell you thanks, but I can't. Not the way I want." Nero was flummoxed and growing agitated. He brightened then. "I got it." He hopped over to her nearest hand and dropped a kiss on top of it. Kyrie laughed in amusement.

Many feet away from this tender scene, Trish watched doefully at the couple. "That's so wonderful! I've never seen this before with people I know."

"That's nothing," Dante replied.

Lady tapped her boot toe on the floor. "No, that's what you get when you're not with a new woman every night." She gestured at the couched couple. "Learn a lesson from them. Intimacy: not always about the groin."

"I'll take my intimacy lessons elsewhere, thanks." Dante continued to survey the nice scene. He didn't hear any consecutive insults and he glanced over to the side to see his partners mouthing, _kiss him_, to Kyrie. Ha, women.

Nero's warm large eyes wandered away from his love and settled somewhere to the side. Kyrie followed it to the table corner.

His kind expression aimed at a black spot of a fly which crawled on it. Was that hunger in his look?

"Nero!"

"Muh?" It took a literal two seconds for him to pull his eyes away from the bug.

"...never mind." Kyrie's shoulders slumped a bit but by then Nero's gaze had blithely flown back.

Dante could practically read her pissed mental thought: _I'm upstaged by a bug._

He began to ponder while he surveyed Nero and Kyrie. An itch formed in his brain. What if...


	4. Bets

**Author's note: Poking fun at Nero is addicting, but who says Dante doesn't get his fair share? Haha!**

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Chapter 4

Did fairy tales come true? Dante went with his musing. He said to the femmes, "Why don't you gals pucker up, too?"

"Huh?" Lady placed a hand on her hip and stared confusedly at him.

His day was getting better and better! "Kiss him. Maybe that'll break his spell."

"It'll wear off!" Nero retorted adamantly as soon as he heard Dante's quacky suggestion. Kyrie spoke in soft tones to calm him down. Dante really had to give her kudos for keeping the kid's temper in check.

"Kyrie?" Dante directed for her to give his plan a go first.

She shook her head shyly, not wanting everyone to witness her kissing. Then suddenly changing her mind, she plunked a pucker on Nero's, er, cheek.

Nothing. Kyrie sighed in disappointment, but buoyancy made Nero flap his small arms.

The other girls were quietly deciding amongst themselves.

Trish nodded. "It'll work."

Lady laughed as if she were absurd. "No way."

"I'll bet you $10 it'll work." Trish already was placing a bet with her female companion.

Lady held up a stopping hand. "My last job botched because of a wrong address, no thanks to you-know-who."

"It could mean a paid lunch," Trish noted logically, a little baitingly.

That hooked Lady, but she hesitated.

Trish winked and held up her hand, all fingers spread. "Five."

Staring at the manicured fingers a moment, Lady shrugged in acceptance. "A free snack it is." She glanced curiously at the blonde's face. "You sure have a lot of faith this will work."

"Of course. We need optimism." Trish seemed pleased with herself.

The girls walked over to Kyrie and explained the details of the new development. "You mind if we smooch him full-on?" Trish asked her.

"Well, she wants the plan to work," Lady piped in. "We can't do this halfway."

"If it'll cure him, uh, sure." Kyrie appeared confused at her own response.

The sheer wide-eyed look on Frog Nero's face resembled an inexperienced frog in a massive and very new ocean. An ambivalent frog unaccustomed to life outside its puddle-sized pond. Trish stood on one side of Kyrie and Lady the opposite. Dante rubbed his hands together. Whoever won their bet, he was going to have a piece of that paid snack. This _was_ his idea after all!

Lady promptly leaned down and pressed her lips against Nero's. Trish followed suit after, smirking a little before she did it. They straightened to wait and admire their handiwork. Aside from massive blushing, Nero was not a boy yet.

"Well, this was an experience." Lady nodded slowly.

"That was fun." Trish was grinning. She reached into her top and produced a five dollar bill, which Lady happily accepted.

If Dante didn't know better, he thought tonight was a girl's night out. Lots of giggling and swapping ideas between them. And him left out of their entertainment. "So what do we do, m'ladies?" he directed at the group.

"You kiss him," Trish threw in off-handedly. A conniving expression was crossing her face.

"Kiss him?" Dante said incredulously, frowning.

"What??" Nero didn't look enthused either.

Lady gestured at Nero but looked at Dante. "We tried your princess plan and it didn't work. How about a princely kiss to the frog?"

"No, no! I refuse!" Nero clumsily flipped a piece of notepaper over his head, as if that would really hide him.

Dante took this plan and ran with it. "Gosh, I don't see Nero. Well, looks like that idea is a flop."

As Nero refused to move, Kyrie stared at Dante with imploring eyes. "Please, Dante?"

"Yes, entertain us ladies who would like to see kissing of the inappropriate kind," Lady chipped in, her comment bordering on a laugh.

"Excuse me?" Dante tilted his head pointedly at Lady who in turn closed her mouth and acted if she spoke nothing. Were all girls attracted to guys kissing one another or was it only her? He mentally filed away that potentially blackmailing thought to open at another time.

Dante went to the couch and crouched in front of Kyrie. He stared hard at the hidden Nero who sensed his penetrating stare and reluctantly relinquished his hold on his loose-leaf sheet. He crabbily stared back. His grumpy state was a sight to behold. Dante mused aloud, "Do I imagine the inside man Nero or his handsome outer form of a frog?"

Hopping Nero fumed at Dante's idiocy, though idiocy for Dante meant wild results. "Shut up and, guh, kiss me, damn it."

The devil hunter chuckled. "Is this a private moment? Should we do this act elsewhere? I don't mind. My room is upstairs." His eyes seductively narrowed at the flustered Nero. "Roses and wine. I should've brought the wine." He flicked his fingers with a debonair sweep and a fresh rose popped between Dante's fingers. He held it out as his arrogant smirk grew. Oh, poking fun at the kid was too irresistible today!

The frog yelled the loudest ribbit and the next thing Dante knew, Nero's tiny Devil Bringer claws had dug into his cheek. Dante jolted at the ferocity of Nero's scratch, dropping his prize fauna. Warmth trickled down the cut.

"That does it!" Nero cried furiously, his Devil Bringer lit a heated blue. "If your lips touch mine, I'll turn you into bacon!"

Dante frowned and wiped the blood off his cheek. Nero was so ungrateful. "Not if my longing for frog's legs doesn't come into fruition."

Kyrie darted her eyes from both contestants. "Please, you two! Nero, if you do this you'll be normal. You won't be stuck being so small we can step on you. I'll even treat you. Hmm. Um..." Intense musing passed her face. She shyly caught the other girls' gazes. "...page 62 is good?"

The human and demon, physically so different, agreeably made the exact same girlish noises to express their approval. Dante groaned, but his interest piqued. He had to check out this page 62 when he got his book back.

Kyrie riveted her attention to her frogfriend and Dante was taken aback by the lusty stare she shot Nero with. This day was full of discoveries! She traced a fingertip along where Nero's real chin would be. "If you become normal, I can make your night worth it."

Burgundy darkened Nero's blue cheeks at his girlfriend's proposal. His demonic arm calmed to normal.

Well, things were progressing.


	5. Fix

**Author's note: Writing this was good times!**

* * *

Chapter 5

While Nero debated whether or not to go through with Dante's unorthodox plan, Dante's voice rang as he spoke to the girls behind him. "Shall I consider this an intimacy lesson to take notes from?"

"Yes, because you two have got it right." Lady winked at the sitting lovebirds. They stared at one another, then quickly glanced away bashfully.

Dante stood and moved to them in confusion. "What is with you two today?" he directed to the brunette and blonde. "Is there some sort of relationship drug you accidentally overdosed on? Are ya guys looking to hook up or somethin'?"

Trish examined her polished fingernails. "Can we help it if we spot a cute pair?"

Lady chuckled. "We'll see them together what can be called regularly, unlike you and your dates."

Strolling over between his office babes, Dante hooked a lean arm around each of their shoulders. "I can see an adorable pair. Give me more credit." His leering eyes slid their course downwards, admiringly most fondly their curves.

...which earned him a simultaneous smack in the face by two separate backhands, ultimately loosening his charming hold.

"Ugh! Good synchronization." He rubbed away the sting.

Trish pointed at Nero and glared at Dante. "Go."

"What?" Dante wasn't subjecting himself to another rake across the cheek. "Nuh-uh. I did my part. The kid's the uncooperative one."

"This calls for some persuasion," Lady remarked thoughtfully, passing Trish a nod.

Dante nodded in agreement at the girls, then looked at Nero. "See, if you weren't so stubborn you'd be fine by now and- wahhhoh!" Trish's strong arm locked around his neck from the side. The cold end of a gun barrel pressed against his temple on his other side. Lady snickered.

"Girls, girls, what is the ganging up for?" Everyone was acting so mean to him today. His babe reception was way off. Tuned into them he was not. Unpredictable women. He lurched forward when he felt Lady's knee dig hard in his calf.

"Fix him, now." Lady clicked the safety off her pistol.

Dante released a patient sigh. "The bullet won't kill me."

Lady copied his sigh. "Yes, but what if the bullet hits something else? One of our guests? Your precious new and might I add, beautifully expensive second jukebox which you can't buy another of until the next decade? I mean, keeping the uptake on this business does cost you a lot already."

Dante gagged slightly at Trish's unrelenting grip around his esophagus.

Lady continued. "Think of it as good karma. It'll came back to you in spades."

"Not literal ones," Dante grumbled. Those hurt through the torso. He toddled up to the couch once more. When neither woman extracted herself, he cleared his throat. "I can't do my best work under this kind of pressure."

"Try us." All three girls chimed in.

Dante was dragged down to his knees in front of the feisty frog, his temple itching from the barrel pressed so firmly against it. He stared intensely at Nero, and the girls at him, too. All attention zeroed on the frog, who started.

Nero slowly blinked. Blinked again.

"I can't do this!" he wailed piteously, covering his face.

"Page 62, page 62," the threatening girls attached to Dante's sides whispered.

"Space, please." Dante wasn't amused with the chokehold.

The girls eased off.

He stared at Nero. "All right, I'm all yours."

Belinda, or Trixie, or maybe it was someone else. Some girl Dante had kissed ages ago who had horridly rough lips. He tried to convince himself that smooching Nero would be like this. It was more tolerable than admitting he was kissing an amphibian. That thought sent a shiver down his spine.

Dante looked unusually serious at Nero. "Do you kiss with your eyes open?"

"W-what you talking about?" Nero sputtered dubiously, eyes darting nervously from Kyrie to Dante. Upon hearing Dante's question, Kyrie leaned back and crossed her arms, staring curiously at him. Yes, she'd be quite interested to know if her guy was a watcher.

Dante squinted at him. Dante was _not _going to be stared at while puckering up. "Shut your eyes."

"You do it!" Nero protested huffily. "You're a cheater, I'll bet."

"I don't cheat with kisses. Those are my specialty." Dante admitted this proudly. He didn't waste kisses if they didn't serve him some future endeavor.

More glare from Nero's end. "I'm _not_ having a moron like you watch me-"

"You're not the kisser, buddy, so _you_ close your eyes-"

"Shut up, you don't have to go through this weird _ribbit_- wahh!" Nero cut off when Kyrie's hand zoomed impatiently over his eyes. He silenced obediently.

Kyrie sighed hurriedly. "There. No peeking from Nero. Go ahead."

Dante appraised her graciously. "Thank you, smart Kyrie. See, there's a thinker," Dante directed to his kissee.

Nero didn't mumble anymore obscene comments, which Dante took as a green light to go ahead with this peculiar plan. He lined his lips to Nero's and closed his eyes. He concentrated on the rough lips theory, imagining all the chappy-lip femmes instead of one, because honestly he couldn't remember who had the sandpaperiest mouth.

A press of four lips, four seconds, and a loud smack signified the chance to safely open eyes. Dante pulled back but didn't crack his eyes open. Hmm, those lips weren't as dry and cracking like he assumed. He finally looked at Nero. Kyrie was still covering his eyes. Nero hadn't reverted.

The antsy frog growled in frustration. "This is the dumbest thing ever! Kyrie, I'd like to see now."

No sooner had Nero uttered his request when dazzling lights sparkled around him like some hip Broadway show. With sunburst intensity, the room flashed with light and a deafening boom shook the weak walls, creaking its wood pillars and floorboards. Everyone painfully shut their eyes. When the lights dimmed and Dante assured himself that his corneas had not in fact received permanent damage, he blinked his fuzzy vision away. Lady and Trish were rubbing at their eyes, still disoriented. His office snapped back in focus, and so did the couple on the couch in front of him. Dante snickered at the sight.

Nero was himself again, all silver-haired, blue-eyed, and boyish, with Kyrie's arms clinging tightly around the neck. She had buried her face in his back as a response to the blinding light. Nero quickly gasped and clutched his chest, sucking in air and reintroducing himself to his larger lung capacity.

Yes, the kid was grateful for air. He'd also be grateful for human traditions once he realized...

"Kyrie?" Nero queried very slowly.

"Y-yes?"

"Why am I so cold?"

There was a pause. Kyrie raised her chin at the same time Nero tilted his chin downwards. He wore nothing except the rosy skin he was born with, which became rosier by the second at his predicament. His hands zoomed over his crotch but the damage was done.

"I'm a giver. Be right back," Dante proudly uttered without laughing anymore at Nero. Transformation after-effects were always a bitch, especially when it left a guy stark naked. He walked away to fetch something decent for Nero to wear, leaving them alone.

Sight had just returned for the two women as Dante passed them. Lady cleared her throat, looking away from the couple and acting as if everything were normal. "U-uh, congrats on getting yourself back. It must've been hard to endure being a frog."

Trish intentionally made a purring noise, turning Nero's face an absolute beet crimson. "It must be hard."

A restrained choking noise gurgled from Nero's throat. He stared straight ahead, intently splitting the invisible air particles. So was his girlfriend, whose cheeks were reddening. "Kyrie..." he muttered almost dangerously.

"I see nothing," she answered speedily, her face neutral and her gaze straight ahead. Kyrie brightened then, turning her mouth to his ear and whispering something furtive.

The words were unintelligible to everyone else, but to Nero the meaning was very clear for the burning in his face spread down his neck.

-- THE END --


End file.
